Aeryn
by of-dalish-elves
Summary: A glance into the life of Aeryn Mahariel in the Sabrae clan. Will she be able to handle the truth of her past, the daunting pressure of adulthood, and the complications in a lifelong friendship? Aeryn only begins to discover who she truly is, before she gets conscripted into the Grey Wardens.
1. Chapter 1- Adventure

"Aeryn," Tamlen whispered to his friend. "Look."

Aeryn raised her bow and turned slowly. She had learned from years of practice to be silent in the woods, even when treading on a bed of fallen leaves. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a pure white Halla, grazing peacefully between the trees. She immediately lowered her weapon, casting an inquisitive glance at Tamlen.

"Look at her. She's a tame one... she's got to be... look at those carvings on her horns." Tamlen murmured.

"But what is she doing away from the herd?" Aeryn asked.

The Halla perked up her ears at the noise then galloped further into the trees, out of sight.

"Care to find out?" Tamlen said with a grin as he followed the Halla deeper into the forest.

"Tamlen," Aeryn called, rooted to the spot. "Tamlen! It's almost dark. We need to get back to the clan."

"Come on, where's your sense of adventure?" he replied. "We have camp supplies in our packs. Why not spend the night out here in the woods? The Keeper won't be mad; we're rescuing one of our Halla."

"You know plenty well how unexpected the Keeper is." Aeryn said in retort. "And tomorrow is the day of the hunting ceremony! We can't be late for our own initiation."

"Well I'm following her. If you want to go back, fine. But I'm not losing her." Tamlen said, already starting to sprint forward.

"Tamlen!" she called. "Tamlen, get back here!" But he didn't turn around. Cursing, Aeryn followed him into the forest. She began to regret choosing to spend her last free day out here with him. She could have been back at camp, studying the ancient elven history that fascinated her so much. She could've even snuck out and ventured into the shem town... no, she pushed that idea out of her mind. No matter how strong her curiosity was for the world outside of the clan, she would never betray her race like that. _Stupid shemlen_, she told herself. _There's nothing of interest for me out there anyway_. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake her innermost desire to wander; to explore; to _leave_... Aeryn tossed her head, snapping herself out of those thoughts. _This is my clan,_ she reminded herself. _This is all I know_. Luckily, after about five minutes of running, she had caught up to Tamlen, and these thoughts were driven from her mind.

"Knew you wouldn't leave me out here alone," Tamlen said, grinning.

"Ugh, you're so full of yourself," she replied, pushing him to the side. "I'm protecting you for your own sake."

"Oh, and I'm full of myself?" Tamlen laughed. He put his arm around her shoulder. "This will be fun. Just you and me, off on an adventure."

At those words, Aeryn's regrets about spending time with him seemed to disappear. "Just like we've always wanted. Since kids." she said. "Remember that? We were plotting to explore these woods ever since we could walk. If we ever became hunting partners..." She paused, after seeing Tamlen's grin fade and his face turn stony. When she turned her head to get a good look at him, however, his grey eyes brightened again and his face split into a new smile.

"_When_ we become hunting partners," he corrected her smoothly.

"I dunno Tamlen, don't talk like that." Aeryn said, biting her lip. "The ceremony is tomorrow. And it all lies in the hands of the Keeper. What if she doesn't choose us to be together?"

"The Keeper knows how close we are." Tamlen assured her. "We'll be fine. Plus, both of us are the best hunters in our age group. The Keeper can't turn down pairing us up."

"But just imagine all the times we've annoyed her..." Aeryn pondered. "Like that one time she caught us sneaking into her tent..."

"That was your fault." Tamlen replied.

"Was not!" Aeryn responded.

"Was too! You wanted to look at some maps she had of the shemlen kingdom."

"Oh yeah," Aeryn laughed. "But you were the one that got us caught, stealing her staff and all."

"Oops," Tamlen said, laughing too. "You're right. I guess it was both of our faults."

"Which doesn't exactly help our case..." Aeryn said, her smile disappearing.

"Hey listen. Don't worry about it." Tamlen told her. "We'll be fine. We've been best friends for ages. She can't just ruin something like that. She knows we can never be apart."

Aeryn looked at him skeptically. Realizing how ridiculous his last line sounded, Tamlen seized his opportunity, and batted his eyes at her.

"Stop it," Aeryn laughed as he leaned in closer. "Tamlen!" she giggled, trying to push him away. He kept coming; their noses were almost touching.

"What? You don't find this... appealing?" Tamlen whispered as he made the most provocative face possible. Unable to hold it, he fell to the ground, laughing at himself. Aeryn, laughing too, held out her hand to help him up.

"Oh baby. You're just too sexy for me." she joked, as she licked two of her fingers and smoothed her eyebrows. Cracking up, Tamlen pulled her to the ground, and she fell on top of him.

"Time to heat things up," he said, pretending to remove the straps of his armor. In the effort, he snapped one of his fingers on the buckle. This proved to be too much for either of them to handle, and they burst out in laughter. When they had finally calmed down and regained their breath, Tamlen stood up and held his hand out to Aeryn.  
"Well," he said, pulling her off the ground. "This just proves it."

"Proves what?" Aeryn asked as she shook leaves off of herself.

"We can't have any other partners. They'll think we're crazy."

Aeryn laughed. "I suppose you're right. But now that we've wasted a solid thirty minutes, we've probably lost the Halla for good."

"Ah well." Tamlen sighed. "I never really thought we'd catch her. I just wanted to have a bit of fun."  
"Should we set up camp here then? It looks as good of a place as any." Aeryn remarked.

"Sounds good to me." Tamlen replied, slinging his pack off his shoulder. "We should probably get something to eat before we start a fire."

Aeryn responded instantly. She picked up a stone and threw it at a nearby bush, causing a large flock of birds to fly away. Tamlen grabbed his bow and shot down two.

"I could've gotten three," Aeryn jested.

"Could not."

"Could too."

"Could not."

"Could..." Aeryn started, but stopped when she heard a rustle of leaves. Quickly, she turned and saw a rabbit running through the bush. A moment later, the rabbit was lying dead with one of her arrows piercing its little heart.

"... too." she added with a rather pompous look on her face. Tamlen smirked at her sarcastically and began assembling the tent. Aeryn started the fire, firstly to cook their prey, but also to provide warmth on the chilly fall evening. The two friends were silent while they both concentrated on their separate tasks. Aeryn couldn't help but to watch Tamlen struggle with the tent supplies, mumbling to himself in frustration. She suppressed a giggle, and started cooking. Just then, Aeryn heard a distant rumble of thunder. Due to the heavy covering of trees, she hadn't known that it had been overcast the whole day. But sure enough, heavy drops of rain began to fall, dousing the fire in mere moments.

"_Mythal_!" Tamlen cursed at the rain. Luckily, he had finished one of the tents just in time, and they both scrambled into it for shelter.

"'We'll spend the night out here in the woods,' he says. 'It'll be fun,' he says." Aeryn exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, what's an adventure without a little bit of rain?" Tamlen said. "Anyways, it will stop soon."

But it didn't. Aeryn and Tamlen could hear the raindrops falling on the canvas of their tent for hours. When they finally thought it had died down, Tamlen poked his head out the entrance, only to feel a heavy gust of wind and water hit his face, and the storm continued on. The two friends sat huddled together, trying to ignore the cold. The walls of the tent threatened to give in as they were being abused by the violent storm. The sun had completely set, and the only light was coming from a small jar which contained a blue flame. The jar was a gift from the Keeper, a reminder of the omnipotent nature of her elfish magic. Miserable, Aeryn cuddled into Tamlen, seeking warmth. He wrapped his arms around her more securely.

"How are you doing?" Tamlen muttered, for what seemed like the first time in hours.

"I'm fine." she replied through chattering teeth.

"Well, I'm having a really great time," Tamlen said, feigning happiness.

"Hey guess what," Aeryn said sarcastically. "Fuck you."

Tamlen paused. Then, making the same provocative face he did earlier, he replied, "Gladly."

And it was something about the wind blowing on the sides of the tent and the _thud thud thud_ of the rain and the curious blue light emitting from the jar and the fact that it was entirely a joke because suddenly she was kissing him and he was kissing her back. And Aeryn forgot about the fact that they were hiding from a storm because all that existed was the inside of the tent and all that mattered was the soft touch of Tamlen's lips on her own. And soon she was reaching for the buckle on his armor and he was reaching for her's and neither of them snapped themselves. And then the armor was lying disregarded in a corner and they were still kissing, increasing intensity with every moment. And then Tamlen was lying on top of her and sometimes she was lying on top of him and the rest of the night passed in a peaceful oblivion, both of them enjoying the comfort of the other's embrace.


	2. Chapter 2- Hide and Seek

Aeryn broke from her sleep at the sound of chirping birds, finding herself in the hazy state of consciousness before one was truly awake. She usually hated this stage, for she always had a hard time distinguishing between dreams and reality. Today, however, Aeryn felt so peaceful that she allowed herself a moment of serenity to indulge in.

Before even opening her eyes, Aeryn's mind began to slowly embrace the world around her. She could feel an unfamiliar force surrounding her body, but she didn't pay much attention to it. Being in such a tranquil state, Aeryn only cared that it was warm and protective. Instead, she focused on the comforting scents of the forest: pine trees and decomposing leaves, laced with the smell of elfroot and other herbs. Feeling the moist ground and sensing the humidity in the air, Aeryn concluded that there had been rainfall throughout the night. She remembered something about a storm the day before... but she couldn't recall what specifically... Aeryn heard a bird chirp again. Then a rustle of leaves, followed by a soft clopping sound. _Halla_, she thought. There had also been something about a Halla in that story... she searched her brain, but could not find an answer. Why could she not remember?

Aeryn felt the force surrounding her body begin to move in slow, rhythmic motions. Startled, she allowed her mind to focus on the stirring object. She recognized that it was moving, but her mind could not fathom why. Slowly, she came to the realization that if it was moving, it was alive... and if it was alive, then it was not a something... but a someone... Aeryn jerked awake. Turning, she found herself staring into the face of her best friend. Panicking, she looked around and discovered that her small body was curled up inside of Tamlen's sleeping frame. His half- naked, sleeping frame.

Dread started creeping through Aeryn's veins. _No_, she thought. _No__,__ no__,__ no__,__ no__, this wasn't supposed to happen_. She disentangled herself from Tamlen's embrace without waking him, then snatched her armor and shuffled out of the tent as quickly as possible. Grabbing her bow, which was thankfully resting against a tree where she had left it the night before, she sprinted into the trees. Wishing to distance herself from the tent as much as possible, Aeryn didn't stop until she came to a stream overflowing from the recent storm. Realizing she could go no further, Aeryn collapsed onto the ground and threw her face into her hands.'

_What have I done_? she thought. _I've ruined everything_. The Dalish forbid any kind of physical affection until marriage; kissing wasn't even allowed until official bonding had begun. But honestly, she didn't really care about that. She had broken plenty of rules with Tamlen, and it wasn't like every other young Dalish wasn't doing the same thing. _Every_ _other Dalish was doing the same thing_. Yes, that was what was really bothering her.

Aeryn and Tamlen had been friends for as long as either of them could remember. Their story was almost identical to every other couple's in the clan: boy, girl, childhood friends... and then what? Hunting partners, love, marriage. That was the way it always worked. And honestly, she expected nothing different for them. In fact, Aeryn couldn't imagine herself with anyone_ but_ Tamlen. And yet, there was still a gnawing feeling inside of her that she didn't want to follow the same path... that she wanted them to be different...

Yes, Aeryn loved Tamlen; she knew that. But in what way, she couldn't be certain. If she was sure of one thing, however, it was that they were _**not **_so desperately in love that they had to disobey the clan's rules and sneak out to share forbidden love. Was that Tamlen's intention all along? Was this even serious for him? Or would he shrug it off as soon as he awoke? Tears started falling before Aeryn could stop them. She wasn't one to get emotional, but the influx of conflicting feelings overwhelmed her. In desperation, she grabbed her bow and shot an arrow into the forest.

"Not aiming that at me, were you?" a voice called from the trees. Tamlen's voice.

Aeryn gasped and threw herself behind a tree. Tamlen emerged, laughing at her.

"I can still see you, you know," he chuckled.

_Stupid_. Aeryn thought._ What a stupid thing to do. Hiding behind a tree? Harel Elgarn'nan, what has gotten into me...?_

_ But what else was I to do? I can't let Tamlen see me... not in this state..._

"Aeryn?" Tamlen called. "Are we playing hide and seek now? I would protest, seeing as it is a bit childish, but who knows what will happen with you."

_Are you kidding me?_ Aeryn thought furiously. Was he joking? Knowing Tamlen, the answer was probably yes... and still anger arose in Aeryn for no apparent reason. Deep down, she knew that his words were casual flirting, if that. And that Tamlen couldn't possibly know how she was feeling at the moment. Yet her anger uprooted her from her hidden position, and she marched towards Tamlen. Insults of every nature were waiting on the tip of her tongue... but as soon as she saw his face, her fight deteriorated completely.

"Aeryn? Is everything alright?" Tamlen asked, his voice shaking.

She simply stared at him. His hair still ruffled from sleep, his armor loosely hanging on his body, his eyebrows knitted, his mouth left slightly open... concern was etched onto every inch of his face. It was undeniable. And yet, Aeryn refused to believe it.

"Just... just... leave me alone" she muttered, trying not to break down.

"Aeryn," Tamlen said, attempting to put his arm around her. "Please, just tell me what's bothering you..."

But she shoved him away. "I said leave me alone!" she shouted, then sprinted back into the forest.

Tamlen heard a small sob as Aeryn's frame disappeared into the trees. He was left standing there, rooted to the spot. His arm remained in the air, in the spot where her shoulders should have been.


	3. Chapter 3- Apologies

_Away_, was Aeryn's only thought. _I have to get away from this place_. The trees that were usually so welcoming seemed to strangle her, enclosing her in thoughts that she did not want to remember. The elf ran mindlessly through the forest, every root tripping her as she struggled to escape. Her breathing was heavy and her footsteps even heavier. For a well-trained hunter, Aeryn was making a fool out of herself.

After much effort, she emerged at the outskirts of the forest. Aeryn leaned against a tree and stared at the ground as she caught her breath. Her body was bent over, her hair falling in front of her face, her breathing rugged... the usual calm and collected elf was nowhere to be found. When Aeryn finally managed to gain her composure, she raised her head, only to be blinded by the harsh sunlight which was unfiltered by the trees.

"_Elgar'nan!"_ she cursed aloud. Squinting, she looked up again, trying to make hold of her surroundings. In the distance, she could see an outline of buildings and a trail of heavy smoke. A shemlen village.

Aeryn sighed. She had not purposefully meant to come to this location, but her subconscious mind must have taken control. After all, she had been here many times before. She sat down against the trunk of a tree and allowed her brain to focus on past thoughts from this place. Seeing as her present ones were far too painful.

When life in the clan had become too much (or more accurately, too little), Aeryn would escape here. She simply sought a change of scenery, and something, _anything_, to be away from the repetitive nature of life in the camp. You wake up, greet the same five people, spend the day either cooking or crafting... all so that you have the energy to do the exact same thing the next day. And the next day... and the next day... And the sad part was that it was every young elf's routine.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Since she was young, Aeryn had been receiving private lessons from Marethari on _elvhen_ history and lore. She had also been learning the shemlen counterparts. Marethari never explicitly said anything, but Aeryn inferred that she was being trained to become a Keeper. Although the elf eagerly accepted the knowledge, it was clear from the start that she was no leader. Her usually strong personality wilted when others watched her, and she was far more interested in messing around than in getting actual business done. Plus, she lacked any sort of magical ability that was typically imperative for a Keeper. And still, Marethari insisted on teaching her, for reasons Aeryn did not know.

Anyways, the elf had hoped that life would get better once she became a real hunter. Then she would be out in the woods every day, not just when Marethari allowed it. And she would be with her hunting partner, Tamlen, at almost every moment...

But in light of the recent events, that thought didn't seem so thrilling anymore. The rage inside Aeryn fired up again. She dug her hands into the ground and pushed up forcefully, causing her to stride into the open meadow. She continued forward, her anger guiding her as she progressed towards the town. Then, all of the sudden, the detachment from the forest shocked Aeryn, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Although it was only a few steps, the elf had never been this far outside of the forest. All the previous times she had come here, she had remained deep in the shadows of the trees. As quickly as it had come, the anger washed out of Aeryn, leaving her confused and vulnerable. She could not determine why this separation was having such an extreme effect on her... but then she remembered. There were words... words that the Keeper had spoken to her so many years ago:

"Never stray beyond arm's reach of a tree, da'len. This place is your home. You were made for the trees just as the trees were made for you. It is our duty as Dalish to protect this forest, and so the forest will protect us too. But remember, neither the Dalish nor the trees have power outside of their roots. "

These words, almost forgotten up until this point, flashed back into Aeryn's mind. And now they were bringing her back to the forest... back home. She sprinted towards the trees, ashamed of herself for even daring to leave them in the first place. In the rush of pure adrenaline and emotion, she leapt onto one of the tree trunks and began climbing it. Her movements were strong and agile as she rose to the uppermost branches. She swore to herself that she would never think ill of the Dalish again... not after experiencing that feeling of vulnerability in the field.

Aeryn found a sturdy limb, then sat down and trailed her legs over the edge. She felt the wind in her face and the leaves gently brush her skin. And she realized that her life wasn't that bad. There were many wonderful things about the Dalish: the stories of the Creators, the festivals, the beauty of the forest, the loyalty of the clan, the rare excursions when she could hunt with Tamlen...

Aeryn sighed sadly. It was amazing how much her mood was fluctuating today... and how every thought seemed to lead back to him.

And then it hit her.

These emotions were fleeting. They blew away with every gust of wind. But Tamlen... Tamlen was permanent. He was always there to offer a steady hand to hold, or a smile to laugh with. And why should that change now? Tamlen had done nothing wrong... certainly nothing to merit the kind of treatment Aeryn had given him. The memory of the look in his eyes when she had yelled at him...

Aeryn was ashamed. Ashamed of the way she had treated her best friend. And how she might have ruined a chance for them to become something more. The more Aeryn thought about it, the more she wished for them to become bond mates. Nothing had ever felt as right as Tamlen's touch that night, and she doubted that anything ever again would. Her initial worries seemed simple, childish, and whiny; the panic of the morning must have exaggerated her emotions. She had been far too concerned in the future, and refused to accept the reality of the present...

So Aeryn vowed to herself that she would fix this. She would not let her stupid mistake determine the fate of their relationship. She was about to climb down from the tree, when she heard a crashing in the forest.

"Aeryn!" a voice called out. "Where are you? Please, just let me talk to you..."

The noise was getting nearer and nearer… and then Tamlen emerged into sight. He was covered in dirt and sweat, and appeared to be close to tears. Was this how she had looked?

He stumbled forward, not seeing Aeryn hidden in the upper branches. When he reached the end of the tree line, his face fell into lines of despair.

"No. Not there. Aeryn, please not there..." he whispered. Then he called out to the field, "No! I'm sorry! Aeryn, please come back!" Upon hearing no response, Tamlen sank to his knees, hiding his face in his hands.

_He thought I left the forest. He figured I had finally gone to that stupid shemlen town_, Aeryn thought. Tears welled in her eyes; it broke her heart to see him in pain like this, and to know that she had caused it. She wanted to leap down from the tree and hold him, hold him like he had held her so many times before. But that would make the situation so much more emotional than it needed to be. It was such a silly problem... _that I caused_, Aeryn thought bitterly. The last thing she wanted to do was to dwell on it, and she simply wished for things to go back to normal. So the elf remained perched on her branch and called from above:

"Thought you said you wanted to play hide-and-seek."

Tamlen turned so quickly that he slipped, and his body came crashing to the ground.

"I... what?" he called into the space, scrambling to get up.

"We were playing hide-and-seek." Aeryn said, a single tear running down her face. "I suppose you found me."

"Aeryn? Is… is that you?" Tamlen called, his eyes frantically searching for the source of the voice. "Where are you? You know what, no, just never mind where you are. I need to tell you something."

His voice was frenzied, quivering with emotion.

"Listen, please. I never meant to hurt you. I was just... I thought... Aeryn, there is nobody in this world who knows me like you do. And I thought the same applied for you... with me... okay, no, this is coming out all wrong."

"Listen, you're my world. Okay? I can't imagine living without you. And after everything we've been through, I can't help but be falling in..." Tamlen coughed, interrupting his words. "You're… you're my best friend. And I can't stand seeing you like this. If you still don't want to talk to me, I suppose I'll... I'll leave you alone. Just know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." he sobbed, his voice trailing off.

Aeryn remained in the tree above, absolutely speechless. She simply gaped down at him, too astonished to reply.

"_Na elgar!_" Tamlen exclaimed. "Spirit of my imagination! I've been talking to myself this whole time, haven't I? Curse the Creators..." And with those words, he turned away, overwhelmed with sobs.

Seeing Tamlen's burst of raw emotion, Aeryn snapped out of her daze. She quickly descended from the tree, and started to move toward him. Tamlen didn't hear her approaching, for his own sobs were loud enough to cover the sound of her footsteps. Upon reaching him, she gently placed her head on his jumped in surprise, turning round to face her.

"Aeryn?" he blurted out, hastily sniffing his nose and wiping his face. "Is that… is that really you? By the Creators..."

He stared at her, his grey eyes flooded with tears.

"Did you… did you hear all of that?" Tamlen asked, a blush starting to creep into his cheeks. Aeryn simply nodded in reply, with an understanding smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, I really am..." he began, but then Aeryn cut him off.

"No. Stop saying that." she replied curtly, her smile now gone.

Tamlen stuttered, and his face broke into lines of bewilderment and hurt. _Shit_, she thought to herself, as his expression sent another blow to her heart. There she went again, letting her words get the better of her. Aeryn intended to be a lot more sympathizing… in fact, she felt the _need_ to be sympathizing seeing as she caused all of this in the first place. She felt nothing but guilt and remorse… and still _that_ rubbish had come blurting out of her mouth. Only Aeryn supposed the anger in the comment wasn't directed to Tamlen, but to herself…

"It's not your fault. It's not even a little bit your fault. It's me and my pathetic inability to express emotions." Aeryn continued, hopefully explaining herself better.

"But... but..." he stammered. "No, Aeryn, please don't blame yourself. You were right before. I'm sorry that I rushed things..."

"Tamlen, no. Listen. I'm sorry. Please don't think it had anything to do with what you did..."

But Tamlen interrupted, "I don't know what I was thinking, I can't believe I even did that. You had every right to be upset..."

"Tamlen, seriously. You did nothing wrong. It was me who treated you terribly..."

"Aeryn, I don't think you understand what I'm getting at..."

"Tamlen, I understand _exactly_ what you're getting at, and I'm telling you that it was _my fault._"

"Please Aeryn..."

"Tamlen, are you even listening…?"

"I never wanted to hurt you..."

"You're not even hearing a word I'm saying…"

"I have never felt this sorry before…"

But his words were cut off by the pressure of Aeryn's lips. For she had pulled him by the shirt and was kissing him full on the mouth. She saw his eyes widen in surprise and then relax, and he started kissing her back. It was very different from their last kiss; this one was slow and emotional, both of them tasting the other's tears. It felt as though all of their feelings were transferred through this embrace; all of the thoughts they couldn't explain and all of the emotions they couldn't convey were suddenly understood. They remained like this for hours, days, years, centuries... things like time seemed to lose all meaning in his arms. When they finally broke apart, they remained close together, simply staring into each other's eyes. Both of them were breathing heavily, but not speaking a word.

Then finally, Tamlen's face cracked into a wide smile. Aeryn looked at him questioningly, noticing that his eyes were glimmering with their usual energy. She began to smile too, simply because she realized that he was back… that _they _were back.

"What?" she asked, grinning. "Tamlen, seriously, why are you looking at me like that?"

He merely smirked and tilted his head, as though contemplating her face. Then his expression broke into an even larger smile, and he mouthed the words, "I'm sorry."

Aeryn ran forward and punched him in the chest.

"You aren't funny!" she yelled, although she was laughing a great deal. And at that, Aeryn took Tamlen by the hand, and they walked together back through the forest.


	4. Chapter 4- Not So Fast

**A/N: I'm going to rework this whole chapter in the near future because I can't even read it without cringing. I'll also fix parts of chapter 3. Because blech.**

* * *

"So how did you find me so quickly?" Aeryn asked as they were walking back.

"Are you kidding? You were running through the forest like a rampaging bear," Tamlen said. "Do you really think I'm that bad of a tracker?"

"Well, you better not be, seeing as you taught me everything I know," she replied.

"Fine, then do you think that _you_'re that bad of tracker?" he taunted.

"Of course not," Aeryn scoffed. "But not as good as you..."

Tamlen stopped in place, gaping dramatically at his companion.

"I can't believe my ears," he exclaimed. "Can it be? Was that... a genuine compliment?"

Aeryn scowled. "Mind you, that's the _only_ thing you're better at," she continued. "And just by a little bit."

There was a pause, then Tamlen started laughing. Aeryn glared at him, but eventually her face cracked into a begrudging smile. It appeared that they had not lost their sense of playful competition.

The elves walked until they had returned to their temporary camp from the night before. Aeryn stood back and allowed Tamlen to disassemble the tent, simply so she could see him struggle again. She watched as he fumbled with the poles, giggling loudly. He turned around with an exasperated expression on his face, which only made her laugh harder.

"It's not as easy as it looks..." Tamlen mumbled, frustrated.

"I assure you, you're making it look far more complicated than it is," Aeryn snorted.

"Alright, little-miss-know-it-all," Tamlen said as he strode towards her. "If you think it's so easy, you can do it."

"Fine," she smirked, brushing past him. But as she was walking away, Tamlen grabbed her by the stomach and lifted her off the ground.

"Tamlen!" Aeryn shrieked. "What are you doing...?"

But her words were cut off by another yelp as Tamlen raised her even higher. Then, in one fluid motion, he started to twirl her around.

"Tamlen!" she shouted again, kicking her legs in surprise. But soon, the initial shock of being lifted faded away, and Aeryn relaxed. She felt an unfamiliar swooping sensation in her stomach; it was something happy, something free. She was no longer afraid of falling, for she could feel Tamlen's strong arms embracing her. The elf threw out her own arms, savoring the rush of wind in her face. She felt weightless, for more reasons than one. Aeryn had been held by Tamlen many times before... but never like this. She had a feeling that she would never grow tired of his touch.

Tamlen slowed down and released Aeryn lightly. She could not see straight, but she felt her feet touch the solid ground. She stood still for a moment, regaining her composure. Tamlen kept his arms around Aeryn, hugging her from behind.

"I've always wanted to do that," he whispered in her ear, smiling.

"You're such a dork," she said, turning around to face him. But she grinned too, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Come on, let's get going," she said, turning away and effortlessly gathering up the rest of tent.

"If you insist," Tamlen replied, grabbing his knapsack off the ground. But as he looked back at the cleared camp, he added sheepishly, "You know what, you go on ahead. I just need to... uh... check on something."

Aeryn looked at him questioningly, but she nodded and left without a word. Once she was out of eyesight, Tamlen sighed. He looked around at their little camp, which was now indistinguishable from the rest of the forest. It felt odd; everything had changed here... and yet nothing had changed at all. Their relationship was like a stone at the top of a hill, and this location had simply gotten it rolling. Still, Tamlen felt it should be recognizable.

He pulled a strap off of his leather pack, making a mental note that he would replace it back at camp. He then found a sharp stick and engraved the letters "T+A". Realizing too late what a horrible cliche it was, Tamlen almost smacked himself for his stupidity. Proceeding with more thought, he turned the scrap around. When he had contrived an idea, he grinned to himself and engraved: "ready or not, here we come." Satisfied with his wit, he tied the leather to a low-hanging tree branch. Tamlen knew it would fall off fairly soon, but he felt the need to leave _some_ sort of mark. Upon second thought, he pulled the Keeper's jar of magic light out of his pack and placed it at the base of the tree. That would remain burning forever.

Looking at the scene, Tamlen couldn't help but smile. _Damn, I really love her,_ he thought. Breathless, he gathered his things, took one last look at the tree, and then ran to catch up with Aeryn.

When Tamlen saw Aeryn's frame in the distance, he shouted, "Ready or not, here we come!"

She turned and shouted back, "What?"

He jogged forward to meet her and then continued, "It's a phrase. Our phrase."

Aeryn simply raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's good!" Tamlen said. "It's like the line from hide-and-seek, and you know, we had that thing with hide-and-seek..."

When that received no response, Tamlen continued, "And 'here we come,' because we're like... we're like a thing now... ready to take on the world together..."

Aeryn just looked at him skeptically.

"Come on!" he said, exasperated. "It's good!"

Still no reaction.

"I mean, I think we're a thing..." Tamlen said, now becoming anxious. "We are a thing, right?"

"Yes," Aeryn said, shaking her head and laughing. "I just didn't think we needed a phrase."

"Oh... I mean, I guess." Tamlen responded, disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm. Perhaps it was a silly sentiment after all.

"Also, you know that it can't be official, right?" Not until you formally go and bring me back a deerskin or whatever." Aeryn said, almost bitterly. "And that can't even happen until we're adults in the eyes of the clan..." She stopped abruptly, her mouth left open in shock.

"What?" Tamlen asked her, confused. "What just happened?"

She simply stood there, trying to grapple with her words.

"Tamlen..." she breathed.

"What?"

"The hunting ceremony..." she said softly.

Tamlen's eyes widened in surprise, and then in horror.

"...is today," he finished, his voice equally as quiet.

"We weren't supposed to stay out this late..." Aeryn mumbled miserably. "Oh no, Marethari is going to kill us..."

Tamlen grabbed her by the hand and sprinted forward.

"It doesn't start until dusk, right?" he asked, desperation etched in his voice.

"No, I think it _ends_ at dusk." Aeryn replied anxiously.

Tamlen groaned and ran even faster, Aeryn following swiftly behind him. From the position of the sun, it appeared to be mid-afternoon; the young elf cursed herself for letting the time slip by so quickly.

The two kept running until they reached the clearing in front of the main camp. Slowing down, they swept the dirt off themselves and tried to look as composed as possible.

"It's going to be alright," Tamlen assured Aeryn, who was breathing heavily. "Look, it hasn't even started yet. The fire pit isn't lit."

Aeryn opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

The pair took one last look at each other, then walked briskly into the field of tents and caravans.

"Tamlen," Aeryn hissed, as words returned to her. _"Let go of my hand."_

"Oh yeah, sorry," he whispered back frantically, releasing it just in time before they were visible to the clan.

A few elves turned and waved as they entered, but no one else noticed their late arrival. Looking around, things appeared normal; nobody was gathered, and people were going along with their everyday business. It seemed as though they had made it back in time.

Tamlen let out a sigh of relief.

"See? We're perfectly fine," he said, though his voice was still shaking.

"I suppose you're right," Aeryn said, feeling a weight lift off of her chest. "I'll just slip to my tent and wash up a little before..."

"Not so fast," a quiet voice called from behind them.

The two young elves froze; the all too familiar voice caused an eerie chill to crawl up Aeryn's spine. Hesitantly, they turned around, only to find themselves staring into the age-lined face of their Keeper.

* * *

**A/N: There are many terms about love in the canon Dalish language, but none of them quite equate to "damn, I love her." Also, Tamlen is just such a hopelessly romantic dork, and it makes me smile. **


	5. Chapter 5- Keeper

Tamlen and Aeryn followed the well-tread path to the Keeper's _aravel_. They had done this far too many times before; the Keeper merely had to glance at the two young elves for them to understand where to go. Marethari did not escort them, so Aeryn assumed that she would meet them there later. The pair set off towards her tent, ready to face the consequences when they came.

_Well_, Aeryn thought bitterly. _At least she trusts us_.

As they were travelling, a group of Tamlen's friends appeared from out of nowhere. They were older than Tamlen by a couple of years, making them older than Aeryn by quite a few. She never understood why he talked to them, but here they were, walking towards her, not bothering to hide their amusement.

"What did you get into this time?" asked a young elf by the name of Sidhion.

"Yeah, what were you two _up_ to?" asked his friend, Feredir, with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

His implications were far from subtle, and he clearly enjoyed the reaction his comment had created. A faint red started to creep up Tamlen's ears, while Aeryn felt the familiar sense of irritation that arose in her veins whenever she had the misfortune to speak to these boys.

"Listen, _len'alas lath'din_," Aeryn spat. "Why don't you keep your nose out of other people's business?"

Feredir simply chuckled, nudging Tamlen.  
"You got yourself a keeper," he said sarcastically. "And not like a Marethari Keeper. This bitch is nowhere near great enough. Or sane enough, for that matter..."

"Hey!" Tamlen yelled. "Don't talk to her like that!"

"What am I supposed to say to her? She never speaks, and when she does, it's like she's going to gut you or something," he said. "She's nothing like her father..."

Aeryn's irritation quickly escalated to anger.

"What do _you_ know about my father?" she asked, venom coating her words.

"More than you, apparently," he sneered, his smirk widening as he realized the effect his taunting was having on her. "Honey, I'm quite a bit older than you. I was alive when he was Keeper..."

"When he was WHAT?" Aeryn spluttered, her surprise overriding her anger.

Feredir raised an eyebrow. "You didn't even know that? I mean, I know nobody around here tells you anything, but..."

"You're lying," Aeryn interrupted, her voice shaking.

"Nope," he responded, amused.

"You do this to me all the time. You just like to make me angry."

"You keep telling yourself that, honey," he said. "Anyways, it was good to see you, Tamlen." He gave Aeryn one final smirk and strutted away.

Tamlen stood aghast for a moment, staring at his partner. He knew she was trying her hardest to keep her face expressionless, but he saw through her eyes the inner battle that raged inside her mind.

_He's lying_, Aeryn told herself aggressively. _He's an idiot and he's just trying to get on my nerves._ But there was something deep down that refused to belief that, no matter how many times her mind repeated it. _"When your father was Keeper..." Who would make something like that up? And he's right; nobody tells me anything in this clan... _

"Why are you even friends with him?" Aeryn spat, directing all of her anger and confusion at Tamlen.

"I mean, I'm not really," he muttered, pressured by her steely glare. "When it comes to friends, there's not many options around here." Seeing Aeryn's unsatisfied expression, he added, "And I'm not like you. I'm not strong enough to just lock myself away and not talk to anyone who doesn't meet my standards."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have to do that if everyone wasn't such an idiot," she said, scowling.

Tamlen chuckled. "Aha! So we've gotten to the root of the problem. It's not just them… _everyone_ is an idiot!"

"Okay, not everyone. You know what I mean. It's not even anything specific, but unless you're an interesting person, I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to you."

"So I guess I'm an interesting person?" Tamlen asked playfully, trying to keep the conversation away from Feredir.

"No, you're an idiot too," Aeryn said.

"Am not!"

Aeryn raised an eyebrow. "Anyone who is _sane_ enough to hang out with me must be," she said, her words turning bitter.

"Hey, don't let what he said get to you." Tamlen said consolingly. "He's the idiot. A right proper idiot."

"Then why do you talk to him?" Aeryn asked again angrily.

"Because I'm also an idiot who can't stand up for myself. Without you, I mean."

Aeryn smiled cynically. "Just punch him in the face next time, okay?"

"Consider it done," Tamlen said, returning the smile.

They proceeded forward, but a thought still plagued Aeryn's mind.

"What... what he was saying... do you think it's true?" Aeryn asked hesitantly. "About my father I mean…"

"About your father? No, of course not, he was just trying to get under your skin," Tamlen replied truthfully, or at least what he thought was truthfully.

Hearing those words aloud removed some of Aeryn's worries. And yet, a sinking pit still remained at the bottom of her stomach…

"I know," she lied. "Come on, let's just get to Marethari's before she banishes us from the clan or something."

The two elves continued on in silence, a feat that they probably couldn't accomplish again even if they tried. After all of the distractions, Aeryn was less worried about the Keeper's punishment. It would be no worse than usual...cleaning pots, working for Master Ilen... mindless chores that she didn't even mind anymore.

They quickly arrived at the Keeper's _aravel_. It was one of the largest figures in camp, but it was tucked away in the corner to eliminate any sense of superiority. The wooden sides were intricately carved with symbols of Dalish lore, from the verses of the _Vir Tanadahl_ to the entire Pantheon of gods. A large banner flew proudly in the air, bearing the universal sign of the Dalish, a green mask made of leaves. Underneath it was the script "Sabrae," distinguishing their clan from the others. Aeryn ducked underneath the narrow doorway, noticing for the first time the words "_Andaran atish'an_" etched into the frame.

The inside was almost as stunning as the exterior. The room was engulfed with naturalistic hues of green and yellow, almost exactly replicating the colors of the forest. Tapestries draped the walls, each of them hand-woven by members of the clan. Chests and bookshelves stacked the floor, containing the rare scraps of Dalish history that had managed to be preserved.

Even Aeryn, who had visited this place so many times before, either for punishments or lessons, continued to be blown away by its beauty. The elf still found details that she had never noticed before, even after practically living here for the majority of her life.

Aeryn headed for the bed in the corner, which was one of the only pieces of furniture in the room that wasn't loaded with maps and other bits of parchment. In fact, it was perfectly untouched; the Keeper, like the rest of the clan, preferred to sleep out in the open, underneath the stars.

As Aeryn sat down, she noticed hinges connecting the bed to the wall. She figured that they allowed the frame to fold up in the corner, securing it in place for travel. The whole room was probably mechanized like this; after all, they could never stay in one place too long. Nothing was ever permanent with the Dalish... though Aeryn supposed that nothing needed to be. This place was perfectly beautiful, just as it was.

It was a place built to reclaim their fragmented history and to preserve it, despite the difficulty. _Fly straight and do not waver._ It was a place capable of being bent, bruised, and even forcibly transported, without losing any of its character. _Bend, but never break_. It was a place made by the clan, representing all of the elves in it, and all of the elves that came before it. _Together, we are stronger than one._

Aeryn sighed. She really did love the Dalish. Admittedly, she didn't speak to many of the elves, and she even despised a few of them, particularly Feredir. But overall, she viewed her clan as her family, as it rightly was.

Tamlen sat next to Aeryn on the bed, putting his arm around her.

She fidgeted. "Don't, Marethari can be here any moment-"

Almost on cue, the Keeper's small frame emerged through the doorway. She looked up to see a flash of Tamlen's arm pulling away from the annoyed elf beside him. Marethari shook her head slightly, but did not say anything.

"I take it you're not hurt?" she asked, almost immediately.

"Errr... no," Aeryn replied timidly.

"No more than I expected. You two can take care of yourselves," she muttered, turning away from them. Aeryn did not respond, and Marethari did not speak again for a long time. There was an extended period of silence as she walked around the room, straightening books, dusting tapestries… doing everything _but _addressing the two young elves sitting on her bed.

Suddenly, she sighed, putting her face in her hands. Turning around, she looked at Aeryn and Tamlen straight in the eyes.

"I don't know what I have to do to get through to you two," she said, exasperated.

Tamlen's head fell in shame. Aeryn, on the other hand, kept staring at the Keeper.

"Marethari, we're back now, there's really no harm done -" she began.

"No harm done? We had to postpone the ceremony until tomorrow, child!" Marethari retorted. "And for what? What were you doing that was so important?"

Aeryn fell silent, but Tamlen regained some of his courage and started to speak, "We saw a Halla, Keeper. She was one of our own that had escaped, so we tried to follow her..."

"Foolish child!" Marethari exclaimed. "You should know that we do not own the Halla. If she was running away, let her run away! If she returns, then she will have accepted the partnership between our races." There was a pause, and then she continued, "I cannot tell if you are being serious, or if you are merely trying to fabricate some feeble attempt at an excuse."

Tamlen's gaze returned to his lap; he was clearly lost for words.

"I don't know how many times I have to go through this with you two," Marethari stated. We have rules for a reason. It is not up to you which ones to follow. Do you consider yourself above the rules? Or do you simply not care for your clan?"

Aeryn answered, "No, Marethari, I was honestly just thinking about how much I love-"

"Then start acting like it! Aeryn, your behavior these past few weeks has been shameful. The purpose of the ceremony toda- _tomorrow_ is to enter into adulthood. In the near future, if you don't start performing your tasks on time, the elves of this clan will directly suffer. If your clan won't be able to rely on you, to trust you..."

"What about me trusting my clan then, eh?" Aeryn blurted, her anger rising. "You expect me to be an adult tomorrow, and yet everyone _still_ continues to treat me as a child!"

"Have you ever considered the fact that you are _acting_ like a child?" Marethari snapped.

"I am not the broken orphan that everyone thinks I am!" Aeryn exclaimed, tears building in her eyes.

Marethari paused, taken aback by her harsh comment. "Of course not, girl, I do not think that way," she replied softly.

"Everyone else does! Don't tell me you can't see it!" Aeryn continued, refusing to give in to the Keeper's genuine concern. She had no place to be kind, not when Aeryn was mad at her...

"I do see, but they are mistaken. I would correct them, but I am rather inexperienced in these matters." Marethari sighed. "Their intentions are not ill; they do truly love you-"

"If they loved me, they wouldn't keep me in the dark about everything!" Aeryn interrupted indignantly. "About my childhood, my parents..."

"Aeryn, this is not the time-" said the Keeper, her voice growing wary.

"How many times have I heard _that_ one?" Aeryn snarled. The words of Feredir, which hadn't left her mind, crawled to the tip of her tongue. "Tell me, Marethari, who was the Keeper before you?"

Something in the Keeper's light blue eyes snapped. Aeryn saw the pain in her wrinkled face, the struggle she was going through to remain composed.

"Out," she said curtly. "I want both of you out. Punishments seem to have no effect on you two, so this time I will not grant you any-"

"Answer my question!" Aeryn exclaimed, infuriated that she was changing the subject.

"Aeryn, listen to me-" the Keeper pleaded.

"Marethari!"

"There is a time and a place for everything, girl."

"And I thought you actually trusted me..."

"Aeryn, you need to learn that you do not have free reign over everything! There are things that have gone unsaid that should _never_ have been kept from you. And for that, I apologize. But you need to trust me when I say that now is not the right time-"

"You're impossible!" Aeryn shouted, rising from the bed.

"Aeryn!" Marethari said crossly.

"You told me to get out! So I'm leaving!" Aeryn cried, wiping her eyes with her arm. She stormed towards the door, passing the many books and trinkets perched precariously on the tables. A white hot fury licked her insides; the elf was overcome with an urge to break _everything, _to show the Keeper a fraction of the pain she was experiencing. To destroy all of the knowledge, all of the _secrets _that had been purposefully kept from her. Resisting the temptation, Aeryn strode out the door without another word.

"Aeryn Mahariel! Get back her!" Marethari shouted. But she did not return.

There was silence as the Keeper put her face in her hands once again. Tamlen sighed, causing her to jump, as though she had forgotten he was still there.

"Do not speak to her again this evening," Marethari said softly. "She needs to figure this out herself."

Tamlen simply nodded, knowing that he would do the exact opposite. The young elf walked towards the door, but stopped when he reached the frame.

"Yes?" Marethari asked.

"Aeryn's father..." Tamlen began nervously. "Was he really...?"

Marethari fell silent.

"Yes," she said eventually.

His eyes widened in horror. "Then he was the Keeper who was-"

"Yes, boy," she said, cutting him off. Her last two words shook with suppressed sorrow, and Tamlen looked up to see the Keeper's eyes full of tears.

"_Ma abelas_," Tamlen muttered, then turned to walk out the door.

* * *

Dalish Language Notes:

_aravel-_ vehicles the Dalish use for transportation

_len'alas lath'din- _dirty child no one loves

_Vir Tanadahl- "_Way of Three Trees"- an ideology of the Dalish

_Andaran atish'an-_ I dwell in this place, a place of peace

_Ma abelas- _My apology/ my sorrow


	6. Chapter 6- Revelations

**A/N: This chapter is a bit gruesome... and really sad...**

* * *

For the second time in the same day, Aeryn found herself running... running away... away from all feeling, all emotion... somehow believing that the farther she ran, the more distant her problems would become. She could and she _would_ overcome everything by simply _running away_. All thoughts were channeled into the repetitive pounding of her legs on the soft autumn ground, sending mud and fallen leaves flying behind her. Aeryn's blood was rushing through her veins, her heart thrusting against her rib cage, her lungs screaming for air; every part of the elf's body begged her to stop.

Except her brain.

_Away._

But soon, even Aeryn's fitness could not keep up with her unrelenting mind. Her legs started to slow down, and that small act was enough to begin a chain of surrenders throughout the rest of her body. In a domino effect, her whole frame tumbled over itself into a tangled heap on the ground. Aeryn laid there, breathing in sharp, jagged gasps of air. The tears that had so bravely remained perched on her eyelids began to fall, hot and fast, down her face. She felt as though her sobs were suffocating her, as she lay helpless in the leaves, unable to stop them.

It wasn't a crying like before. That morning, she had tears in her eyes mainly from her frustrations with herself, over something as stupid as Tamlen. Something as permanent and solid and unchangeable and completely idiotic as _Tamlen._

Now, Aeryn was sprawled in the leaves, at the mercy of everyone, including herself. She kicked and screamed and punched the ground in anguish until she physically could do so no longer. At which point she curled up in a ball, her small figure shaking as she wept uncontrollably. As she wept for something that should be as permanent and solid and unchangeable as anything could be: the past.

Except when the past was shrouded by secrets, when it was a dark entity that changed form every time she looked at it, when it was a puzzle that she held all of the pieces to and still could not figure out...

And perhaps that was the worst part. The fact that the truth had been staring her in the face the whole time. And that nobody, not even the people she loved, had helped her see it.

~V~

Everybody in the clan knew about the Keeper who had preceded Marethari. When they were just _da'len,_ the elders gathered around the fire pit, calling the children in a solemn voice. Aeryn, along with the others, approached the gathering blissfully ignorant to the events that were about to occur. However, there was something about the scene that sent chills up the young elf's spine, and it wasn't just the bitterly cold winter evening.

The children sat down, oblivious to the pained expressions on the adults' faces and the eerie silence broken only by the crackling of the fire. They proceeded to do what one would expect them to do: stare at the ground, dig in the dirt, hit each other... anything but listen to their elders.

But not Aeryn. When Paivel, the clan's storyteller, began speaking, her eyes were locked on him.

He told a story about an elf. A Keeper, in fact. Their old Keeper.

His name was Nitharon. He was young for a Keeper, but unquestionably qualified. His dark hair was cut short, and his pale blue eyes swirled with the magic that resided within him. He had a splash of freckles under his v_allasl'in_, giving him a happy and good-natured look.

The Keeper was known for his remarkably intellect, but more importantly, his compassion. He possessed none of the hatred towards humans that was so typical in the _elvhen_ race. When given the chance, he was much more willing to spare a life than take one. This attitude was originally frowned upon by the rest of the clan, but his pacifistic nature soon gained merit as he successfully eased tensions between the Dalish and the human towns.

The Keeper bonded with an elf from a neighboring clan. He met her at the _Arlathvhen_, and was captivated by her bright green eyes that seemed to reflect the colors of the forest. He soon learned that her name was Adeidre, and that she was wholeheartedly opposed to his hasty advances. However, Nitharon was quite taken, so he kept in touch even when they parted. In time, she came to love him in return.

But her family starkly disapproved of the mingling of their people with outsiders, especially because Adeidre was one of the best hunters in her clan. Even between the Dalish, there were fierce rivalries. However, Nitharon managed to convince them to let her come to live in the Sabrae clan. They let her go, but it was made clear that they viewed her as a traitor.

Regardless, Adeidre was welcomed by her new clan. She was at the Keeper's side at all times, both of them shining with happiness. They balanced each other out; he was a calm man, with incredible intellect and a level head, while she was a fighter whose emotions often overflowed into her actions. These two led the elves into a glorious age of peace. Just when Nitharon thought he could be no happier, Adeidre announced her pregnancy. The clan rejoiced; they felt as though the happiness would never end. But of course, as was the case for all things, it did.

One day, the clan was travelling in the woods to their new camp. Despite the Keeper's peace negotiations with the human town, the _shemlen_ had decided to push them deeper into the forest. They left without a fight; the Dalish were far too used to this treatment, and it was a relatively short distance after all. Their _aravels_ sailed proudly through the air, the red sails brushing the limbs of the tall trees. Nitharon and Adeidre, with a couple of other elves including Paivel, moved on ahead, scouting the forest for a new camp site.

Suddenly, a group of humans emerged from the thickets. They were clearly bandits from the town, armed only with feeble weapons and armor. But they were unexpected, underestimated, and brutal. Nitharon lunged forward, throwing out his arms to protect his people. The Dalish were foolishly unarmed, for it was only supposed to be a quick journey, and there hadn't been violence between the races in years. Adeidre, however, always carried her bow, and sprang forward to fight alongside of her bond mate. Her arrows shot down human after human before the Keeper could even begin to generate the crackling magic in his hands. Eventually, he sent mounds of rock at the attackers, aiming to maim, not kill. With a flick of his wrist, he caused snake-like vines to grow from the ground, ensnaring the humans in a tight bind. The pair seemed unstoppable, but the humans kept coming.

The rest of the clan, now hearing the commotion, began running to catch up. But they were a considerable distance behind.

Adeidre reached for her quiver and snarled, realizing that she was out of arrows. Nitharon looked sideways to see what was wrong. In the moment of distraction, a particularly bulky human was able to approach the pair. Adeidre's screams of warning were not enough, and in one merciless stroke, the _shemlen_ stabbed the Keeper in the stomach.

The clan emerged through the trees at the moment of the murder, and they could only watch in awe as his body fell to the ground. The _shemlen_ roared in pride, kicking the Keeper's limp figure to the side. He kneeled down and gutted the elf, as though he were an animal. The human grunted something about heathens and savages as he ripped Nitharon's heart from his chest and threw it aside.

Adeidre's legs crumbled beneath her. She fell next to her bond mate, her love, lying dead and exposed on the ground. For once, all of the fight was ripped out of her.

The human grabbed the elf roughly by her hair, raising a knife to her throat. He was about to slice her to bits, just like he had with the Keeper, when he noticed the bump in her stomach.

He lowered the knife, but maintained a sturdy grip on her body. In one motion, he heaved her over his shoulder, and then sprinted out of the woods with the rest of his party.

The elves merely watched, rooted to the spot in disbelief. They stood still, silent, lifeless... trying to comprehend what had just occurred. And they remained that way far into the evening. Until the forest grew dark, and the chilly winds bit at their skin. Until the owls screeched, and the wolves howled. Until they saw the rising sun, stained red by the Keeper's blood.

Nobody heard about Adeidre ever again. Or the baby.

~V~

Had Aeryn really been so blind not to see? Or had she simply believed that her clan, her _family_, couldn't possibly have the audacity to look her in the eyes and preach to her about the tragedy of these elves... without bothering to mention that they were her parents?

_Her parents_. This story, this heart-wrenching tale that left every older elf speechless as tears flowed down their faces, was the story of her parents.

She knew she was right without knowing how. The revelation itself was less of shock than she expected... it was the _lies _that hurt the most. Maybe, somewhere deep inside, Aeryn had always known, but refused to believe…

She was even mentioned in the story, albeit wrongly. They must have completely edited the ending… obviously _something_ was heard of the baby... she was curled up in the mud at the moment, choking on her own tears...

And soon Aeryn was not only weeping for herself, but for her father. And her mother. And the tragedy that they had experienced. And the fact that their own daughter didn't even realize it until now.

* * *

**Dalish Language Translation:**

_da'len- _children  
_vallasl'in- _blood writing; tattoos on the Dalish's faces  
_shemlen_- human  
_aravel_- travelling carts; "landships"  
_Arlathvhen_- meeting of all Dalish clans every ten years

**Another note on the names:  
**

Nitharon means _youth  
_Deidre means_ sorrowful wanderer _(which is very relevant and _very sad _once her story has been properly told)


	7. Chapter 7- Mamae

Tamlen wandered aimlessly, his mind neither knowing nor caring where his legs took him.

He passed elf after elf, staring at them as though he was seeing them for the first time. Because, in a way, he was.

The elf patching his clothes, the elf stoking the fire, the elf polishing her armor... they all appeared to be living in a different world than him. A world where Aeryn's parents had simply ventured off to the shemlen town and gotten a bit caught up. A world where they would soon return to her, happy and whole.

But that world did not exist. It was a hopeless fantasy, a dream of a _da'len_. It was even more than that: it was a _lie_, a lie that the clan had allowed him to cling to for so long.

So how could these elves go about their daily life, knowing the far more terrible truth? How could they look at Aeryn every day and keep the secret locked away from her?

A shout of familiar laughter caused Tamlen to perk up, freeing him from his thoughts. He spotted Feredir across the camp, waving his hand in invitation. Tamlen felt a quickening in his blood, one he recognized, but could not place. He crossed the camp, his shoulders set back in indignation. The feeling continued to course through his veins, spreading an inexplicable ire throughout his entire body...

And then, about halfway across the clearing, Tamlen identified it. It was a sensation he often felt out in the forest, on the hunt.

But the similarities between this situation and a Dalish hunt stopped there. Currently, Tamlen was fueled by a burning sense of hatred, a self-righteous desire to smash through everything in his way and _fight._ There was no patience, no quiet preparation, no aligning of a bow string; instead, it was replaced by a frenzy of emotions and a screaming that filled the elf's ears. Feredir deserved no respect, so Tamlen would grant him none.

"How'd it go with the Keeper?" he called, as soon as Tamlen reached earshot. "I see Aeryn's not with you, did you finally ditch that-"

There was a resounding crack as Tamlen's fist struck Feredir's nose. He gasped loudly, stumbling backwards. His watering eyes stared at his attacker in surprise.

"That was from Aeryn," Tamlen said coldly, shaking off the pain that shot through his knuckles.

Before Feredir could react any further, Tamlen raised his fist again. This time, the elf let out a small whimper as Tamlen struck his face once more.

"And that..." he said, smirking, "was from me."

Feredir's eyes narrowed into slits of cold hatred. He brought an arm to his face, attempting to staunch the heavy flow of blood streaming from what seemed to be a broken nose. Tamlen stared back, grinning. It was a completely uncharacteristic grin, filled with a savage joy at the pain he had caused.

Feredir was adjusting his body, preparing to strike back, when a sharp voice rang from the distance.

"What in the Creators' name is going on here?" called Ilen, the clan's master crafter, who was quickly approaching the scene.

"_Elgar'nan_, boy! What has happened to your face?"

Feredir did not respond; his harsh gaze had not drifted from Tamlen. Or maybe he simply couldn't speak; the blood was now flowing into his mouth.

"I struck him," Tamlen stated in a cold voice that was so unlike his own.

"You... you what?"

"I struck him," he repeated calmly.

Ilen stared at the two young elves in disbelief. "Feredir, go see Marethari before you lose anymore blood," he said, although he kept his eyes fixed on Tamlen. Feredir held his ground, unwilling to leave the situation so quickly, but the elder practically pushed him towards the Keeper's _aravel_. The bloodied elf walked away grudgingly, turning around to glare at Tamlen one last time. When he was out of earshot, Ilen rounded on Tamlen.

"What on earth were you thinking?"

Tamlen stood still, his mindless anger ebbing away as Feredir stumbled father and father away. The fire coursing through his body was extinguished, and the smoke obstructing his mind was cleared. This rational mind was far from welcome, however; it brought back the thoughts he had hoped to eliminate with this whole ordeal in the first place. The fighting did not make him feel better, as he had foolishly hoped. His heart still beat furiously, and, on top of everything else, a heavy lump of shame now rested in the pit of his stomach.

"I..."

"Striking your own clan mate? How could you even _dare_ to do such a thing?"

"He was..." But Tamlen could not bring himself to accuse Feredir of anything. Because accusing him meant talking about the truth he had so disgustingly revealed. And the truth meant...

"I don't know," he mumbled.

The elder elf shook his head.

"You missed the ceremony, and then this? You and Aeryn have been stirring up trouble ever since you could walk. I always thought she was the instigator, but given the current circumstances..."

Aeryn's name sent a blow to Tamlen's already aching heart. He realized how much he_ didn't_ want to talk about the situation, especially not to _him._

_Ilen was there. He witnessed the death of Aeryn's parents. And he never said anything._

"_Ma abelas_," Tamlen mumbled, wishing to stop the conversation as quickly as he could.

Ilen stared at Tamlen for what seemed like days, but eventually sighed. There was something in the boy's character that tugged at the souls of those who met him, an inexplicable force that got the better of most of the elders in the clan.

He observed Tamlen's slouched shoulders, which so contradicted the spark of life in his eyes. But that usual spark was gone... He seemed insecure, passive, even incomplete without Aeryn by his side. Tamlen was a proud warrior; all of the elders could see that. However, it seemed that his true self only emerged when he was with his best friend. And, apparently, so did his rebellious self.

"Could you have picked a worse day for all of this though?" Ilen sighed, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face. "Though I suppose it doesn't really matter, now that the ceremony has been delayed anyway." Now he was truly laughing. "How you two manage to get away with these things, I never know."

Tamlen did not return the smile. In fact, the statement made him feel even worse.

Ilen gave Tamlen one final look, his hand reaching out. It was scarred and calloused from his years of craftsmanship, and wrinkled from age, but surprisingly strong as it grasped Tamlen's shoulder. "I only hope you're ready for tomorrow."

That was it. Before Tamlen could even respond, Ilen had turned to walk away.

It seemed he had managed to evade punishment once again.

_No, _he thought. _Yell__ at me. Scream at me. Give me a stupid chore as punishment. Tell me what a disappointment I am. Give me a reason to want to hit you. Let me actually hit you. And then hit me back. Just for Creators' fucking sake, give me something that will let me forget about the hell that is racing through my mind right now._

But there was no such escape. Tamlen's emotions felt as though they were consolidated in the pit of his stomach, and somehow shooting out of his body at every angle at the same time. The outburst at Feredir was a good, hot outlet of anger, but it was gone now. And he wasn't even in trouble. And Ilen was _joking _with him.

And he should have talked about what was bothering him. But he didn't. He kept avoiding the truth. The lies, the secrets, the truth… they kept getting mixed up in his head. What could he trust? _Who _could he trust?

_Aeryn, _Tamlen thought immediately. He needed to see Aeryn. After all, _she _was the victim of all of this.

He didn't chase after her right away because he knew she needed time alone. At least some time. But now it was getting dark, and she still had not returned to camp...

But the more Tamlen thought about it, the more he realized that he did _not _want to see Aeryn. How was he going to talk to her about all of this? He couldn't even speak to an outside party without being overcome by grief and confusion. And here he was, thinking about his own pain when she was the one suffering the most. He was supposed to be there for her, not the other way around.

And then it hit him. If he, her best friend, couldn't even find the strength to talk about her parents, how could the others? What blame could be placed, except onto the humans that ripped her family apart?

So Tamlen swallowed his grief and set out to find his friend. If he owed her one thing, it was the truth. And as strong of a hand to hold as he could offer while they discussed it.

But he didn't get very far. The young elf was stopped before he even got out of camp by a sharp cry. Turning, Tamlen saw his mother, running frantically toward him. She looked at her son disapprovingly, but looked at him nonetheless.

And her expression turned into concern the moment she saw Tamlen's bruised knuckles. She mumbled something about "fractured," and reached into her pack to pull out bandages.

"_Mamae_, listen, I have to go…" he said, trying to fight the emotion building inside of him.

She replied with words that he could not hear, but that he trusted without a doubt. She took his hand into her own and wrapped it in a tight bind. Then she wrapped her arms around his body in a similar way.

And Tamlen could no longer hold in. Tears that he could not explain were falling down his face, but his mother did not need explanation. Without missing a beat, she simply held him even tighter. She was oblivious to the source of his pain, but still wished to make it better, _needed _to make it better. His willpower completely deteriorated, and yet she held on, guarding him from the world and sheltering him in a warm embrace. Providing comfort in a way that only a mother could.

And so Tamlen succumbed to the flood of emotions inside of him, crying into his mother's arms. Completely unable to help Aeryn, who would never be able to do the same.

* * *

**Dalish Language Translation:**

_da'len:_child  
_aravel:_ vehicle the Dalish use for transportation  
_ma abelas: _my apologies  
_mamae: _mother


End file.
